Melissa Perrin Essay Advice

Paragraph 1 – Check the wording of your essay to make sure that you paragraphs make perfect sense. Some of your sentences do not. Make the changes I have put in. Show me that you understand the play a little better. Don’t (as it says in my notes) make it sound like a science experiment. Write your intro as if the play is a really interesting piece of writing due to the fact that it really encourages debate over its comedic and tragic content. Then state what you are attempting to do (but in a less scientific way).

Paragraph 2 – The subject matter of this paragraph is absolutely fine, but you are not following the basic principles of putting paragraphs together which you have learned right the way through school. Where is your EVIDENCE for the argument you are putting forward? You are basically arguing that Don John is far too much of a ‘tragedy type’ character for him to sit comfortably in a comedy. Fair enough. But why?

*He would provoke a negative reaction from members of the audience due to the fact he is a ‘bastard’ – talk about social attitudes of the time.

*He is introduced in his first scene as a negative character. He is untrustworthy. Look at the things he says. He claims that he doesn’t talk much when in the presence of DP etc, but he actually talks LOTS when making his evil plans. You could discuss this.

*He almost causes the death of one of the more PURE characters, Hero. He plots her demise for no reason other than devilment. In this way, he is very similar to ‘Iago’, the villain from Othello. You could make this comparison.

Whatever point you decide to go with, it needs to be backed up with EVIDENCE – Multiple pieces if possible. Then, focus on the IMPORTANCE of your evidence, commenting on specific words etc if necessary. THIS IS WHAT GETS YOU YOUR MARKS.

 

Pragraph 3 – This has the makings of a really good paragraph. Follow the instructions which I put on your essay. Draw out the fact that Shakespeare is really trying to influence the audience here and play off their attitudes against one another. In modern times, this would be totally different, so you can compare audience reactions also. Shakespeare knows that the audience will immediately take against DJ due to the fact he is a bastard. You will need some evidence to back up the negative viewpoints held against people like him. Next, you need to look at the things DJ says about himself. You have started to do this, but there is more evidence you could use, so use it! He really is painted as a ‘pantomime villain’, with no endearing features whatsoever. So, expand on this a bit. How and why has Shakespeare done this (to make him more comedic. The way he insults himself almost takes away any element of character that we might get attached to, and helps him to fit more easily into the genre of comedy. Any character should have a balance of good/bad points. DJ appears to have no redeeming factors whatsoever.) Then, you could make the point – is Shakespeare actually satirising the audience by talking about their prejudices? Is he ahead of his time?

Paragraph 4 (beginning ‘Although on the other hand it could be argued…’)

As I have out in the notes on your essay, this is a great point but must be made stronger by including MORE EVIDENCE, and focussing MORE CLOSELY on the evidence (ie, specific words/phrases/reactions from audience etc).

 

Paragraph 5 – Talk about the significance of your first pieces of evidence. The fact that he lies about hearing an ‘oath’ almost makes him ultimately untrustworthy. Almost blasphemous.

For the rest of this paragraph, you need to add a little more depth to your argument. Firstly, you’ll need more evidence to prove your point about DJ. Find it, and put it in. However, as I’ve stated in my notes, you can turn this on its head. Yes, DJ has an evil streak, but don’t the plot twists surrounding him make the play more like a comedy play? If DJ and his cruel plot were not there, the storyline would be over in about half the time. Shakespeare uses DJ as a comedy tool in order to draw out the comic elements in the plot. You will need to back this up with evidence, but it will look good if you see the argument from different angles. Another point worth considering is, how guilty actually is DJ? Look at the scene where the PLOT is hatched. Who is it that actually comes up with the plot? Is it DJ, or is it mainly Borrachio? And yet, it is DJ who is notorious as the villain of the play. Does this reflect attitudes towards ‘bastards’ at the time? Discuss this and back it up with evidence.

 

Paragraph 6 – Talk more about the shame that would have been caused to Hero. Why? Talk about attitudes and how they have changed. Find a secondary source if possible to back up what you’re saying.

Then, find more evidence to back up what you’re saying and focus on it more closely.

 

Paragraphs 7 and 8 – These paragraphs may not be needed once you have added all that you need to. As I’ve said in my notes, I think you need to look at structure a little.

*Look at DJ’s major speeches. Are they written in meter? Iambic pentameter? If they are, it elevates their importance and makes what he has to say look more significant. You could argue that this makes his evil more significant and, therefore, makes the play less comic (but you will need to exemplify). However, if he does not speak in meter, but those around him do, it makes what he has to say less significant, or makes him seem less educated (the stereotypical bastard).

Have a read through and see what points you could make here.

*Look at the key scenes for DJ. For example, look at how he is introduced to the play. What are his first lines? What impression do these give us of him? How about when he makes his evil plots…what scenes follow on? DO these scenes add to his evil, or make a mockery of him through low-brow comedy?

This really isn’t bad Melly, but EVIDENCE is the key. Get loads in please!