Saturday, 19 April 2014

Mark Dunne Essay Feedback


Paragraph 1 – Far too basic. Talk a little bit about the play, why it is so controversial in terms of its comedy/tragedy elements, and what you are aiming to do (but without sounding like you are conducting a science experiment.)

 

Paragraph 2 – Do not state that t ‘uses conventions of Shakespearean comedy’. It is a Shakespearean comedy, so this goes without saying. The latter part of this paragraph comes across as extremely basic, and doesn’t sound right at all. By all means talk about SOME of the conventions of Shakespearean comedy with which you are familiar, but don’t just simply list them. Pick one or two which are prevalent in the genre and provide examples of where we see this. Refer to examples other than just in this play. This will make you seem far more knowledgeable.

 

Paragraph 3 – This paragraph needs a lot of work. Your basic point can be expanded into a decent paragraph, but you must be prepared to go right back to the text of the play and find more EVIDENCE to support what you are saying. So, you’ve decided that you’re going to comment on the re-unification of the characters. Firstly, start off by discussing how this struggle came about. The struggle is caused by many different factors and characters such as the confusion over Hero’s wooing, the misunderstandings on the part of Antonio, the evil plot by Don John and Boracchio etc. You could exemplify these to show your understanding of the play. However, all this aside, all of these factors have been put in place by Shakespeare himself who is the architect of the entire story. Look at the title of the play. Much ado about NOTHING. This is Shakespeare’s way of joking that there is actually very little to the story in this play. It is simply complicated by his use of various characters as plot tools, and various types and levels of confusion. You need to find LOTS of evidence to show how Shakespeare creates confusion, and then bring it back to your original point. The young lovers do encounter a struggle, and it is a struggle created by Shakespeare, which means that we cannot help but see this as a comedy as the playwright is playing with our understanding all the way through.

The next thing you need to mention is the fact that, as I’ve put in your notes, their reunification seems to take place despite all other social rules. Claudio SHAMES Hero, and he believes her so easily. This shows that people of the time cared very little for women and their place in society, otherwise Hero would have been treated far differently. Secondly, you might be forgiven for thinking that, today, Hero would simply tell Claudio to ‘get lost’ once he had shamed her at the altar. But she does not. Everybody encourages them to get back together. Maybe this is Shakespeare’s way of showing the lack of respect women had, but also poking fun at marriage and how fickle people can be, provided all the bad bits are ‘covered up’.

I’ve given you some great ideas of how to expand this. Put the work in and use LOTS of evidence please.

Paragraph 4 – Your point is OK, but you will need to find far more evidence (at least 2-3 examples) to argue your point successfully, and you’ll need to focus closely on the language used. Talk about the effect of specific words/phrases etc).

 

Paragraph 5 – Perhaps you need to link this to paragraph 4? You talk about what a ‘Jade’s trick’ means, but you don’t explain it yourself, so your paragraph totally loses its impact. You need to get rid of this, expand it massively, or link it to/make it part of another paragraph.

Paragraph 6 – A paragraph which needs LOTS of work. Firstly, it is not true that, nowadays, most genres have happy ending. Don’t put in things such as this which are simply made up to make your argument seem more convincing.

Secondly, you are right to focus on the happy ending, but you need to make much more original points, and back them up with evidence and sound explanations. Things you could include:

*The ending is made a happy one as, structurally; we see a successful wedding take place. This mirrors the unsuccessful wedding which took place earlier on in the play and gave the play a tragic feel.

*Don John, the hatcher of the evil plan, disappears so it is as though he is not a problem anymore. This makes the play more light-hearted.

*The real romance of Beatrice/Benedick is tied together. This, in the grand scheme of things, seems far more true and less fickle than the other relationship between Claudio and Hero.

However, it is not definitely so straight forward.

*Perhaps Shakespeare is laughing at the audience and how fickle they can be. There is nothing very romantic about this relationship when you think about it.

*Hero has to symbolically ‘die’ to lose the shame brought upon her by false accusations. What does this say about attitudes to women at the time?

Paragraph 7 – 2 lines….make this part of another paragraph or get rid.

Paragraph 8 – You must find other examples to support what you are saying. If you want to make your argument stronger, read up on Superiority Theory in humour and make a point about this in relation to this example of humour. How/why would the audience feel superior? How is comedy created?

Paragraph 9 – You make the point that Hero is not empathised with by the audience. You can draw this out to be a great point in itself. Look at Hero compared to Beatrice. They could not be more dissimilar. One (Hero) reflects the stereotype of what women would have been expected to be like at the time. Quite, unchallenging etc. Beatrice is the opposite. Added to this, Hero hardly talks compared to other characters. When she is first introduced, she is very quiet. When she is finally wooed by Claudio, she whispers in his ear. We are not given the luxury of getting to know her. Therefore, we do not feel a connection with her the same way we do with Beatrice. This links to another convention of Shakespearean Comedy – Emphasis on story rather than character.

You must find example for all of these and back them up with evidence to argue your point.

A lot of work to be done, Mark. The emphasis is on going right back to the drawing board and finding lots of evidence please.

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