Paragraph 1
The first sentence needs to be reworded as it is not quite
clear at the oment. In sentence two, you need to clarify which genre you mean.
You go on to talk about different thing which are apparently common in
Shakespearean comedies, but you give no examples of what you mean. Talk about
this please. Finish off your introduction by saying what exactly it is that is
interesting about Much Ado. How it has elements of comedy and elements of
tragedy, and Shakespeare expertly deviates between the two through various
types of deception in order to keep the audience entertained. Etc
Paragraph 2 – Wording needs work. You’ve mentioned here the
idea of a ‘green world’. I’m assuming that you have read up on the article
which I posted on the blog. If not, you will need to do this now. The idea of
this play being set in a ‘pastoral setting’ (removed from real life) is very
important. But remember, you must link this point to the question you have
chosen, the character of Hero. The pastoral setting is important with regards
to Hero. It is important, for example, as it could be argued that this removal
from reality allows certain aspects of her life to become more believable. I am
thinking primarily about her ‘death’ from grief which, in normal circumstances
would be seen as quite ridiculous. There are also a couple of scenes regarding
Hero which are set in ‘gardens’ which allow us to see something more of her
character. Firstly, there is the scene where Hero takes part in the plot to
convince Beatrice that Benedick is in love with her. This scene is quite out of
character for Hero as she is quite forward and talkative. In the rest of the
play, she is very quiet indeed, and hardly sticks up for herself at all. In a
way, she is very typical of women at the time. Beatrice, for example, is the
exact opposite. This scene set in the garden allows Hero to take part in a
scene which creates confusion and deception which are both key features of
Shakespearean comedies. So, she is playing a comedy role here. The other scene
which spring to mind is the dark humour created in the scene where Claudio goes
to speak to ‘dead’ Hero’s ‘grave’. Here, we learn a lot about Claudio and the
sort of character he is. The scene is full of dramatic irony because
Shakespeare has allowed the audience to know the truth that Claudio does not –
that Hero is not dead. So, again, she is contributing to comedy. But it is not
the character herself. It is Shakespeare who is using the character to create
this dark dramatic irony. You need to make all these points and back up with
evidence!
Paragraph 3 – Don’t just mention ‘conventions’ as if the
marker will automatically know what you mean. Separation and unification are
things which recur a lot in Shakespeare’s comedies, and this play is no
different. Word it more like that. The actual point that you make is really
good, but you MUST back it up with multiple textual references. If I were you,
I would also link this to context – how, at the time, a woman’s word would
count for nothing once she had been accused by a man. Incredibly, there is an
even more shocking point here – that the social outcast ‘bastard’ is the one
who accuses her. This really reflects the lowly status of women at the time.
Again, back up with evidence. Check your wording also, it is not great in
parts. You must finish by making the point that Hero has the potential to become
a very tragic character at this point.
Paragraph 4 – You’re not really making a point, just
retelling the story. Focussing on how Hero plays her part in the various
deceptions in the play is a good angle, but you need to make it clear that you
are making a strong point. You need to give credit to the playwright who is the
architect of all of these deceptions – Claudio and Don Pedro’s plot to woo Hero
(support with evidence), Hero’s plot to fool Beatrice (support with evidence),
the masks at the ball (support with evidence), the horrible plot to shame Hero
(support with evidence. Have a BIG discussion over which if these deceptions
paint hero as a comedic character, and which paint her as a tragic character.
Always support with evidence, and always support fully with a good explanation.
Paragraph 5 – Not needed
Paragraph 6 – Not needed. Instead, use this paragraph to
compare her to Beatrice, the other leading female. Talk about how much of a
stand-out character Beatrice is, and how SHE creates comedy. You need to use
lots of evidence to prove how different these two characters are and to support
your point that Hero is not really intended by Shakespeare to be the comedy
lead in this play. Find passages where Beatrice speak in Iambic Pentameter
(there should be a lot) this elevates the importance of her words. By
comparison, when Hero speaks she tends not to, which makes her seem less
important.
Paragraph 7 – Make sure you come to clear conclusions in
your work.
General advice:
Your essay is too short. You really need to add another
couple of decent points supported by evidence. Ones you have made the changes
listed above, do a word count. Get your word count right. If you are still
struggling, come and see me on Monday.
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